Clarity and Consistency – Part 1

Where clarity gives you the foresight to see the final destination,
consistency gives you the wherewithal to make the trip.

Hello again Legacy Leaders,

Hope you’ve had a great week thus far. The last time we were together I talked a bit about how to stay focused on your goals…period.  I mentioned that we need to work smarter, not harder, by being clear and consistent.

What I did not discuss, however, was how to get clear and how to be consistent. So that’s where I’ll pick up today. In order to speak about gaining clarity in our choices, I must first speak a bit about what drives many of us – those of us reading this anyway – when making these choices: our legacies.

When building a legacy, we so often think about tomorrow that we put little focus on today.  We don’t take the time to really understand our choices or enjoy them. It isn’t uncommon for legacy builders to get so inundated with the task of creating a life for those we love, that we forget to live.

This doesn’t happen (as often) when you’re clear.

Clarity affords you the opportunity to not only leverage opportunities that bless your future and the future of your loved ones, but to also enjoy the present.  When done right, as you become accustomed to living in space of clarity, yesterday’s fulfilling choices manifest into today’s fulfilling outcomes, which in turn allow you to make fulfilling choices today that will become the fulfilling outcomes of tomorrow.

And just how do you get to such a state of clarity? It sounds silly, but “know thy self.”

I’m not talking about new age, psycho-phenomenal, humanistic way.  What I’m talking about comes from a deep, spiritual insight that can only come from connection with a greater being outside yourself.  I’m talking about knowing who are you and why you’re here; not because you decided but because you realigned with the innate, God-given purpose you were put here for.

As Steven Pressfield said in his book, The War of Art, “We can’t be anything we want.  We were put here for a reason and it’s our job to discover what that is and become it.”  That is clarity baby!

You can’t achieve clarity if you’re always immersed in the busy-ness of life. Clarity comes with turning off the television, putting down the tablet, silencing the phones and doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

If you have never taken the time to sit still and just be, I urge you to try it.  I’m not talking hours or even a fifteen minute stretch.  If you can get five minutes of alone time before the kids wake up or after they’ve gone to bed, go for it.  Maybe you and your spouse can take a moment to do this together or even apart but at the same time. Later, you can discuss what you each discovered – or not.  It’s up to you.  The important thing is just to do it.  Once you start, you’d be amazed at how much time you can find to continue.

You need clarity.  We all need clarity.  We all want to be useful contributors to society.  There isn’t a personal alive who isn’t fighting to be more.  Even those who commit the most detestable and heinous of acts, when sat before a psychoanalyst worth their wright in salt, speak of some dream deferred that left them so hurt the only viable option seemed to be hurting others.

This is why we must be clear; because hurt people hurt people.  If we want our children to grow up to be whole, happy, healthy adults we must show them what that looks like.  We must take the time to be whole, happy and healthy.  If we want them to use our lives as a springboard and stepping stone for greatness, we must get past the first rung.

That requires clarity.

When you know who are you and what you are made for, you understand what works for you and what doesn’t. When you are clear about your purpose it will deter you from expending your energies on things that are not meant for you, no matter how superb you might be at performing them.  You’ll steer clear of what Gay Hendricks would call your Zone of Excellence, and  start operating in your sweet spot, your place of purpose.

Clarity breeds consistency. Where clarity gives you the foresight to see the final destination, consistency gives you the wherewithal to make the trip.  Once you know where you want to go, you make up your mind to get there.  If you’re still struggling with clarity, chances are you still haven’t gotten clear.

When you’re clear, you prioritize your actions.  You do those things that give you the most return for your investment – whether that investment is time, energy or money. You’re careful to stay committed to achieving the invisible, not-yet-manifested goal regardless of how things may look right now. This is consistency.  And though you can have clarity without consistency, you can’t have consistency without clarity.

So, now that I’ve belabored the importance of getting clear, how to do it and all its benefits, just how exactly do we create consistency?  I’m glad you asked.  I’ll talk more about that next time in Clarity and Consistency – Part 2.

Of course, I’d love to hear from you before then. Where are you on your journey? Been at this a while?  Just starting out? Let me know in the comments.

Until soon Legacy Leaders,

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Sometimes you just gotta tell your kids about themselves…

Hello again Beloveds,

It has indeed been a minute. With school, a baby, a business, and just life in general I haven’t sat down to write like I wanted. But when there’s something you’re meant to do, God will make sure you do it. LOL!

on the East coast the snow has barricaded us indoors for the better part of the last couple weeks, so needless to say not only have I been on Mommy-mode like nobody’s business (which this blog is all about), but I’ve managed to accomplish a few things, so now I can write about those mom-me-adventures.

I’m not complaining; not by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, quite the opposite is true: These past two weeks indoors with my little one have shown me just how much of I had been taking our time together I’d taken for granted.

We’d started homeschooling just before the snow, due to a decline in health and regression in behavior. Chronic infections of the ear, nose and throat made what used to be one of our most peaceful times, a hassle (that I started dreading by 4 p.m.).

About a week ago, it got really bad – with him screaming, kicking and crying for hours (which had me alongside him on the verge of the same). Prayer was the only thing I could think of to keep me sane.  I’m a firm believer that children pick up on the energy of their parents, and I know when I pray I am calm, cool and collected. Since that’s exactly what I needed him to be, I prayed….HARD.

I was mostly praying that my son would stop being a crybaby. My son has always had an incredible vocabulary and impeccable communication skills. He can articulate his feelings (sometimes to my dismay) better than some adults I know. But in the last few months he’s whined, whimpered, pouted and even thrown himself on the ground kicking and screaming when something is bothering him. (That last one only happened twice, he learned VERY quickly we don’t do that here).

So I prayed, I asked God in every conceivable way to help my child not be a crybaby. And then I thought of Samuel and Hannah. Samuel was a great prophet in Israel; he ordained Saul king and anointed David after him. Saul was raised in the temple by the high priest, Eli. His mother, Hannah, sent him to live there after she’d weaned him as a way to keep her promise to Go if He would allow her to conceive. Not only did Hannah conceive Samuel, but she had six more children after him. But still she loved Samuel and poured into his life until the day she died.

Every year, when Hannah went to the temple to worship, she brought Samuel a new epah – the robe of a High Priest. There is no indication that Hannah knew of her son’s future as a prophet and judge. Nothing suggests that he was going to be led to any highly acclaimed position within the temple. Yet, every year, from the time his mother sent him to the temple as a TODDLER, she brought him a robe fit for a high priest.

I believe Hannah told her son what he could be. I believe she didn’t know if he would be a high priest or not, but it’s likely that when others saw him walking around the temple with his robe on, they began to envision in their minds a future for Samuel that included him as high priest. Interestingly enough, when Samuel was called by God as a teenager to surpass the position of high priest, Eli – the high priest – was happy to guide Samuel on his journey.

Hannah may not have lived at the temple with her son, but she certainly sowed into him – even in her absence. I opened my eyes and looked at my son, who was still all tears. I stopped praying. I made him look me in the eyes and I took a page from Hannah’s book. “You can do this,” I told him. “You are a smart, strong and brave little boy.” I never uttered the words cry-baby aloud. I never said a lot of what I was thinking. I spoke life to my son.
And you know what? He was asleep within minutes.

I (re)learned an important lesson that night: speak life.

It sounds simple enough, but it isn’t always easy for parent. I know my son is young, and it supposedly gets harder as they grow up (I say supposedly because I’m speaking life to that now already, too) but speak life. Always speak life. Never mind what friends say or what they’re fighting. Never mind what has come against them. Still speak life. Tell them what they can do and who they really are, so they can see what they’re meant to be.

Speak life. Speak life. Speak life.

I’d love to hear from you. Where are you on your legacy journey?  Already seasoned? Just starting out? Are you leading a tiny dynasty or building your base solo for now? Let me know. Leave a comment.

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