goal setting

The Power of Who…

Without the ability to leverage your relationships, you cannot and will not prevail.
Sometimes your relationships are
more important than your mindset.
The right people can help you get your mind right when you need it. 

Welcome back!

And to those of you joining us for the first time, hello there! I am so happy to have you here with me. (As you likely guessed from my exclamation points.).

This is the final installment of an introductory series on goal-getting; how to visualize an end and then hit the ground to make it happen.  If you’ve been with me a while you will note that I use words like deliberate intention and manifesting.  I say things like “Source energy” and “Spirit”, but at no point will you hear me say that you can will things to you without work.  I am a firm believer in the precept that “faith without works is dead.”

It is for this very reason that I have spent the last few weeks explaining the importance of clarity and consistency; personal identity; and how that identity looks on the world; the latter of which I broke down in two parts (click here and here). I believe it is imperative for us to understand all the internal and external elements of creating an abundant life.  I believe that we are supernatural beings having a natural experience, therefore we get our marching order from a Higher Power.  When we are solid in our identity, we become clear about our assignment and can be consistent in our actions. As we progress, we will encounter those who agree to walk with us. Some will temporary and we will serve them.  Others won’t stay long, but will be of service.  Others still will stay with us through many seasons of our lives.

Business consultant, author and public speaker, Bob Beudine, wrote a great book entitled The Power of Who.  The book attests that we already know everyone we need to know.  Now, with social media and other instant forms of access, we are fewer than two or three degrees of separation away from anyone we may need to know, which means that we know someone who knows them or can gain us entry into their circle. In short – you already know everyone you need to know.

I urge anyone who is looking to create a better life for themselves and their family to read the book.  Bob breaks down the different types of connections we have with people, from acquaintances to close friends. He notes that Jesus used a similar structure in his relationships when selecting to work with disciples.  There were those with whom he interacted occasionally (Barnabas), those whom knew of him and spoke well of him (the 200), those who knew him well (the 12) and those in his inner-circle (the 3).

Interestingly, including Jesus there were four people in his inner-circle.  I don’t believe this is a coincidence. In this group Jesus would be the Visionary, John the Builder, Peter the Implementer and James the Analyst. Indeed, you must have all four to outline a plan and see it fulfilled WELL.  There is something about all four perspectives with their varying talents, skills and abilities coming together that makes it effective and swift.

If, upon taking inventory of your life, you notice that you have a particular talent but you aren’t seeing the best fruits, I urge you to look at “the who” factor in your life.

Who are you around?  Is there enough diversity? Are all four groups represented? Are they represented well? Are you surrounded by frustrated, average or mediocre counterparts? Are you expending more energy trying to get everyone up to par than you are getting things done?  Are you missing counterparts altogether; lacking the resources and support you need to “Pass Go and Collect $200”? (If you’re not old enough for that comment, kudos for reading this, but go look up Monopoly then come back).

The point is, without people in your life – without the ability to leverage your relationships for mutual benefit – you cannot and will not prevail.  Your partnerships are as important as your mindset. In fact, I will even go so far as to say that in many cases your partnerships are more important than your mindset because the right people can help you get your head out of your butt when it counts. Choose wisely.

Want to know how to pick the right friends?  I’m glad you asked.  Join us next time, when we’ll be talking about just that very thing.  Ha!

You know I love you.  You love me, too.

Until next time, Mavericks and Mavens.

Live, Love, Laugh, Legacy –
Iscis

PS  – Where are you on your legacy journey?  Are you finally finding the kind of kindreds that make your mouth water and your toes curl (In a totally spiritual way, of course)? Are you seeing a pattering in your “people picking process”? Is it working for you? Something you need to change?  I’d love to know. Leave me a comment below.

Special thanks to Google and blogs.warwick.ac.uk for the featured image.

The Power of Who… Read More »

Clarity and Consistency – Part 2

“We can’t be anything we want.  We were put here for a reason and it’s our job to discover what that is and become it.”

-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

When we are clear about our intentions… we understand that undertaking [manifesting that intention] is directly aligned to fulfilling our purpose.

Hey there Legacy Leaders,

Good to have you back.  I missed you.  Hope you had a great last week.  I am looking forward to the one ahead.

If you are just joining us, I’ve been spending some time talking about clarity and consistency. This is the third installment in the discussion, which I believe lays the foundation for much of my work.

Clarity and consistency in my opinion are critical to success – whether individual, organizational, communal, social, or global.  Without clarity and consistency, I don’t think we can achieve harmony and balance, or thrive as a people.

Previously, I noted the importance of clarity and consistency in helping us stay on track with our goals.  Then I noted how we can go about gaining clarity.  Today, I want to talk about consistency.

As I noted in Clarity and Consistency – Part 1, you can have clarity without consistency but you cannot be consistent if you aren’t clear.  Essentially, this is because when we are clear about our intentions and our direction, we have not only made up our minds about what we want to do but we understand that undertaking this task is directly aligned to fulfilling our purpose.

Whereas many people think that consistency is hard, it is actually clarity that is harder to attain.  Once you are clear consistency becomes easy.  Allow me to show you what I mean.

Florence Scoven Shinn, author of The Game of Life and How to Play It, suggests that there are four pillars upon which every human being builds his or her life: health, wealth, love and perfect self-expression.  She insists that in order for people to feel fulfilled in their lives, they must achieve harmony all four of these areas.  If and when this balance is achieved, it is called Four Square Harmony.

In my work, I teach people based on these four pillars; the last of which I split into passion and purpose to help simplify the ways in which we often express ourselves.

Let’s suppose you are someone who is clear in your intentions and have decided that you are ready to embark on the journey of achieving your goal, you will now need to be consistent.


HEALTH
For many of us, it’s getting our bodies into better shape, so I’ll go with that. If you haven’t made up your mind, then you are likely to yo-yo between good and bad habits for a while – perhaps indefinitely.  Without clarity, you are bound to find excuses, um, I mean reasons, why things aren’t working.

A made-up mind is different. When you gain clarity on your health, and how optimal health (for you) can enhance your ability to complete your mission and fulfill your life’s purpose, you won’t give up.  Notice, I didn’t say you’ll get everything perfect – but you will keep trying. You will get back on the horse, and you will begin to take note of what isn’t working and supplement it with thoughts, deeds and interactions that better serve you.

WEALTH
You want to make more money, start your own business, get out of debt, or pay off those students loans?  Maybe you want to do all of the above.  When you’re unclear, you self-sabotage.  You overspend or under-charge and you NEVER ask for what you’re worth.

Clarity will knock all of that out the door.  You may not know exactly how to do what you want, but you’ll begin to seek out those who do.  You’ll ask for help and heed the advice you’re given. The choices you make may be different from the ones you’re used to, but they fuel you and fulfill you.  In time – and usually a very short time – you start to feel much better about what you’re doing because you see how financial wisdom can only strengthen your progress. It’s not about how much you have, but how well you handle it.

LOVE (This one is my favorite)
Being unclear in love often results in stifled relationships – romantic, platonic, professional, familial and so on. Interestingly enough, though, it stems from a lack of self-like. When you are unclear about who you are and why you’re here, it’s likely that you won’t like yourself.  You blame yourself for your lack of innovation and ingenuity.  All you want is to be meaningful and useful, to do…something.  The thing about self-like, though most of us would hate to admit it, is that it tends to come from external validation.

Clarity in love means understanding that there is always a Source of external love and validation giving you a reason to like yourself. And when you like yourself you realize just how interesting and innovative you are, which gives you the freedom to continue being so. You find yourself being consistently grateful, hopeful, optimistic, jovial, and LOVING. Suddenly, it seems like the more you give the more you have to give. The more you give the better you feel, which makes you want to give more. Soon, you are in a consistent state of giving and feeling good about giving because – in your state of clarity – you know that you are always receiving.

PERFECT SELF-EXPRESSION
Without a basic understanding of what makes you tick, you can find yourself doing things that make you feel good, or make other people feel good, or make other people feel good about you even though you feel miserable.  Some of us will even excel at these things.  We’ll do things we’re great at, but rather than feel like a superstar you’ll feel super-stagnant.  You become resentful and uncertain. If I’m this good it must be a gift, I must be meant to do this. So why I am so tired and restless…and bored?

With clarity comes capacity. You see things differently and you understand that just because you’re good – or even great – at something, doesn’t mean you’re meant to do it.  Instead, you become determined to set aside time to do what feeds your soul.  As you become clearer, you’ll become protective of your time, space and energy.  You’ll be more selective about those you hang around – sure to exclude those who sap your energy or refuse to accept the new direction your life is taking. Little by little, you will commit yourself to exploring your passions and fulfilling your purpose.  It might be a business, a ministry, a blog. Regardless of how you do it, you won’t let too much time pass without making it part of your life because you know now that it isn’t just about you.  You become consistently consistent. 😉


So, you see, clarity and consistency truly are the foundations for a life of love and legacy.  No matter what you’re going to do, the first then is to get clear. Then enact your plan and be consistent.

I’d love to hear from you. Are you already living a life of clarity and consistency?  Are you just getting started? Leave your comments below.

Until soon Legacy Leaders,
Iscis

Clarity and Consistency – Part 2 Read More »

Getting to the goal

Some people think that planning is the same as preparing, but the truth is if you invest in a poor plan you’re still wasting your time. Being clear in your objectives and knowing what you want, then taking the necessary steps to manifest that desire is the epitome of working smarter and not harder.

We all want things out of life.

Some want basics like food, shelter, and clothing.  Others want an abundance, more than enough…overflow.  Some of us want to make more money or build better relationships, Others still are dreaming of new experiences or how to relate differently to the world in which we live.

In these scenarios, there’s usually that someone we talk to about what we’re thinking. Some of us will even talk to…I mean think aloud to ourselves about what we could be improved and how we could improve it. Unfortunately, we can become so accustomed to talking about it that we place no real focus on learning how to manifest these dreams. Or worse, we know everything we need to but, for whatever barrage of reasons, never take the action that ensures their fruition.

And it isn’t intentional.  Right?  Who sits around thinking, “I don’t actually want to be successful. Note even in the least. I don’t want to be fulfilled”? Who? “I have no issue with this constant yearning for more; this need to be meaningful and feel like I’m contributing my best to the world around me,” #saidnooneever. Well, at least no one I know.

We all want to feel full; to live life and not just watch it pass us by.  This became especially true for me after becoming a parent. When I speak to new parents, it’s often the same.  It is now very crucial to figure out just how to do be the best version of yourself.  Not because you want to be the perfect person or the perfect parent, but because you now understand that giving your child an example is so much better than the best advice.

Being your best will have unspeakable rewards for your life, it’s true – but there’s something about knowing that being wholly and unapologetically you will help them do just the same.

Be honest, would you rather listen to the person who has some great theories for creating the kind of life you’ve always dreamed of living but has never achieved it for herself, or would you rather follow in the footsteps of someone who’s actually done it? Most people would say they want the tried and true example; someone who can tell them how to avoid pitfalls and leverage opportunities.

The problem, though, is that even after you find someone who’s done what you want to do and can offer some guidelines for how to create the kinds of things you’ve always wanted to see in your life, there’s no guarantee that a) you will have the same kinds of outcomes and b) that you will want those things once you have them.  But I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

You can avoid expending all your time, energy and joy trying to achieve success only to discover you don’t want that version of success once you have it – or worse, never see it in the first place.  You’re only required to contribute two things: clarity and consistency.

Clarity and consistency can save you quite a bit of heartache. Being clear in your objectives and knowing what you want, then taking the necessary steps to manifest that desire is the epitome of working smarter and not harder.

Abe Lincoln is famous for having said, “If you tell me I have six hours to chop down a tree, I’ll spend the first six sharpening my ax.”  He was referring to the importance of preparation.   Some people think that planning is the same as preparing, but the truth is if you invest in a poor plan you’re still wasting your time.

The best way to prepare is to know your destination, and you can’t know where you are going unless you’re clear.

Granted, sometimes the beauty of the journey is in the route traveled, but even the most scenic route can become a complication if you don’t know where you’re headed.  I’m all for “getting lost” on occasion, taking a random turn just to see what’s down the road – but when building your life (and your legacy) you want to avoid random turns at all costs.

Now, I’m not referring to life’s detours – those unexpected  twists and turns you’ll have to navigate along the way. I’m talking about moments of seemingly harmless passivity that masquerade as “going with the flow” and “just trying some things out”, which in truth are self-induced sabotage and deprecation.  If you’re on vacation and want to give some things a shot…hey, go for it.  But not when you’re trying to build a solid life – to create something for the special someone or someones in your life – you need to be clear and consistent. Period.

So just what do clarity and consistency look like? I’m glad you asked.

I’ll tell you next time.   😉

Until soon Legacy Leaders!

Your Lady Boss, Legacy Builder, Mommy Maverick, Sister Friend –
Iscis

Getting to the goal Read More »